To Breathe and To Think

I suffer from severe obstructive sleep apnea. (An apnea is what it is called when you momentarily stop breathing.) This was discovered this past September when I went in for a sleep study. The result was that I quit breathing 128 times an hour. It explained why I was feeling so awful all the time. When I sleep I quit breathing and my brain wakes me up just enough to restart the breathing process. As a result I am not getting enough oxygen because I quit breathing so much and I am not getting restful sleep because technically I am never fully asleep. What does this do? You try going for eight hours without air and no sleep every night and let me know how you feel. Sleep apnea causes uncontrollable weight gain, high blood pressure and depression. All of which I suffered from. It also complicates diabetes though it is not linked to it in any other way. Fortunately that was the only thing sleep apnea does that I was not experiencing the effects of.  I had suffered from this for many years not realizing it. By the time I went in for the sleep study I slept more and more in an effort to get the rest I needed. I was irritable and my cognitive processes were severely impaired. By the time I received treatment my head buzzed all the time. Being able to function in any capacity was nearly impossible. Yet so many of the people in my life thought I was well. I did not look sick. Even now they think I am well. In October I was put on a cpap machine which forces air into my airways to keep them open so I can breathe. It has helped immensely. I sleep, I rest, I breathe and I can think again.  I still feel exhausted and like I have not had any treatment whatsoever for this ailment though I feel better in a lot of ways and can function more, I am not up to my full strength yet. It is going to take several years to undo the effects of the sleep apnea. I am grateful we came to understand what was wrong. It feels good knowing I am not crazy or lazy. It is wonderful to be living again instead of existing from day to day.

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